Sunday, June 17, 2012

Father's Day

Father's Day is always sad for me.  My dad isn't exactly father of the year.... or century.  I stopped talking to him after he came to see Jonah when he was a month old and spent the entire time using my laptop on online dating websites.  It had been several years since he had seen me and had recently gotten out of jail for boating under the influence.  He's been an alcoholic for longer than I've been alive.       He also stood in my kitchen and bragged about how much money he'd gotten when he had divorced his last (and 4th) wife.  I knew he never paid my mom all of the child support he owed her and it infuriated me that he would stand there bragging.  It was like a slap in the face.  My mom worked herself so hard to provide for my brothers and me.  In his mind he didn't owe her anything, although she is the reason I am who I am today.  There are a million other similar stories I could tell about my dad but I'll leave it at that.  Needless to say, as a mother myself I realized that just because he was my dad didn't mean I had to continue to allow him to steal my happiness and make me feel so incredibly worthless.  So that was it, that's the last time we spoke.

Even before I decided to break ties with my dad Father's Day was always difficult for me.  I often asked God, "why wasn't I privileged enough to have a wonderful father in my life?"  I still wonder why God chooses certain people to have everything imaginable when it comes to family, friends, etc. but others, such as myself, don't receive the same gift.  It wasn't until I started meditating on God's promise that He is the father to the fatherless that I realized that I do have the most perfect Father in Heaven.  Although I was not blessed with an Earthly Father I can celebrate Father's Day knowing that I will meet my Father one day.

I also recognize that I had a Mother who loved me unconditionally, would give me her last $1, do ANYTHING for me to make sure I'm taken care of and happy.  I am grateful for her.  Happy Father's Day, Mom, since you've always had to play both roles.

And even closer to my heart is watching Isaac grow and develop into a father I am so proud to call my husband.  Jonah adores him and Isaac loves Jonah more than life itself.  It truly is amazing to watch the two of them together.

For those of you who were blessed with amazing Earthly fathers, I hope you have a great day celebrating your relationship.  Just make sure your relationship with our Heavenly Father is celebrated too.

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